Three Questions That Protect Your Joy
By Coach Julie Gardner
As business coaches, we spend most of our time helping clients improve their results. We talk about systems, accountability, productivity, goal setting, and business strategies that help people grow.
So at first, a conversation about joy might feel a little out of place.
But over the years, I’ve learned that protecting your energy and joy isn’t separate from success — it’s what allows you to sustain it. That’s why I find myself asking clients the same three questions over and over again:
- What’s the highest and best use of your time?
- Who gets to get you?
- What brings you joy?
1. What’s the Highest and Best Use of Your Time?
Most of us spend too much time reacting. We answer the latest email, put out the newest fire, or focus on whatever problem feels most urgent.
But urgency and importance aren’t always the same thing.
The highest and best use of your time is the activity that creates meaningful progress. That might mean a client conversation, family time or stepping away long enough to recharge so you can return with fresh energy and perspective.
2. Who Gets to Get You?
This is one of my favorite coaching questions because it challenges us to think about where we’re investing our emotional energy.
In a relationship-based business, we care deeply about our clients. But sometimes one difficult conversation, one unhappy client, or one challenging situation can consume far more of our attention than it deserves.
Not everyone gets to occupy space in your mind rent-free.
This is one of the reasons we encourage clients to categorize their database into A+, A, B, and C relationships. Not every relationship requires the same level of time, attention, and emotional investment. Having clarity about who matters most helps you focus your energy where it can have the greatest impact.
3. What Brings You Joy?
Too many people treat joy as a reward once everything is finished.
The problem is that the work is never finished.
Joy isn’t a distraction from productivity. It’s often what makes productivity sustainable.
Whether it’s spending time with family, being outdoors, traveling, exercising, reading, or pursuing a favorite hobby, the activities that bring us joy help us recharge so we can bring our best selves to the people who matter most.
The Three Questions in Action
Recently, one of my clients reminded me why these questions matter.
She had been dealing with a particularly difficult client. You know the kind — the one who consumes an enormous amount of energy, creates uncertainty, and leaves you questioning whether anything you do will be enough.
My client had done everything she could. She responded thoughtfully, communicated clearly, and served this client with professionalism and care.
Yet as the weekend approached, she couldn’t help but feel conflicted. Should she spend the entire weekend replaying conversations, drafting follow-up emails, worrying about the outcome, and chasing a resolution?
That’s when the three questions came back to her.
At that moment, she realized the highest and best use of her time was to step away and recharge. She didn’t need to hand over her entire weekend, and her peace of mind, to someone else’s frustration. So instead of spending the weekend chasing a difficult situation, she packed her bags and headed to her “joyful” place, the lake.
There’s a difference between responsibility and obsession. Responsibility says, “I’ve done what I can.” Obsession says, “I’ll sacrifice my peace trying to control what I can’t.”
When Monday arrived, the situation was still there. But she returned with a clear mind, renewed energy, and the perspective needed to address it effectively.
That’s why these three questions matter. They help us protect our time, guard our energy, and show up as our best selves — in business and in life.
Ready to learn how to run a business that thrives and gives you the freedom to live your best life? Contact us for a free Business Consultation. In this 30-minute call, we’ll help you get clear on your vision, identify what’s holding you back, see what’s working for others just like you and discover your next step.
