How One Boundary Helped Me Avoid Burnout
By Thomas J. Nelson
In this blog, 20-year Buffini Member Thomas J. Nelson shares how setting one boundary in his real estate business led to a more fulfilling life. He’ll expand on this on our Community Connection webinar Wednesday, April 22 at 10 a.m., PT. Register here to join and learn more.
Like many of you, I’ve learned a tremendous amount from Buffini & Company through Masterminds, Peak Experience events, and coaching calls. The training was strong. The strategies were sound. Business was happening.
But something still felt off.
Because the whole point of building a successful real estate business is to create a great life — and mine wasn’t feeling that way.
Why did I feel like I was living on a treadmill — always moving, always reacting, always “on”?
Why was I bickering with the very people I loved most?
Eventually, I had to stop blaming the pace of the business and tell myself the truth: I didn’t have good boundaries. My business was running me.
The Book That Changed Everything
After reading Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud, the light bulb came on. If I wanted to be a better husband, father, and REALTOR®, and actually enjoy the life I was working so hard to build, something had to change.
So in 2008, I asked my wife a simple question:
“What would make you happy?”
Her answer surprised me.
She didn’t want a new car or a grand romantic gesture. She said, “I just want to eat dinner with you every night and have you to myself afterwards — undistracted.”
Then I asked my son what he wanted.
Not toys. Not gadgets.
He just wanted my butt in the bleachers, watching his football and basketball games — and not on my phone.
That moment changed everything.
The Myth of 24/7 Availability
I realized if other businesses have hours of operation, and other professionals can take days off and vacations… why couldn’t I?
The truth is, the rule that REALTORS® have to be available 24/7 exists in only one place: our egos.
So I started creating real boundaries.
The First Boundary: Close at 6 p.m.
The first boundary I set was simple: I close every night at 6 p.m.
I decided my workday would begin at 7 a.m. and I’d structure my day to end at 6 p.m. so I could be at the dinner table by 6:30 p.m.
Could exceptions happen? Of course. But they needed to be planned in advance, not dropped on my family time at the last minute.
At 6 p.m. I flip the metaphorical “Open” sign to “Closed.”
My email autoresponder goes on.
My phone shifts to Do Not Disturb until 7 a.m.
No non-family calls, texts, or emails come through.
And here’s the funny part…
The sky didn’t fall.
My business didn’t collapse. My clients didn’t organize a protest march.
It was surprisingly easy once I decided to treat my personal life like it actually mattered.
More importantly, it forced me to become more intentional and more productive during the hours I was working.
What Actually Changed?
Everything.
I became more present at home.
More joyful in my relationships.
More rested.
More focused.
More intentional.
And ironically… better at business.
Because when you stop living in reaction mode, you start operating with clarity. When you stop glorifying burnout, you start building something sustainable. When your family no longer feels like they’re competing with your business, everybody wins.
And the 6 p.m. boundary was only the beginning. Creating it forced me to build better systems, clearer expectations with clients, and better structure inside my business.
Thomas will share more boundaries and the practical steps to implement them on our Community Connection webinar Wednesday, April 22 at 10 a.m. PT. Register here to join and learn more.
