Your Authentic Self | Buffini Podcast
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We are all unique human beings with our own specific gifts and traits. But all too often we forget that and try to be someone else instead.
Recently Brian Buffini, chairman and founder of Buffini & Company, spoke on this topic at the company’s Peak Experience, an event held for top producing real estate leaders. There he shared practical ways you can use to break free of old habits and honor your authentic self.
What makes us inauthentic?
Often those feelings are rooted in insecurity, a need for acceptance, and the pull to become people-pleasers, Brian said.
When we become a “lukewarm, watered-down version” of ourselves, we lose our power. Yet the resentment, complaining and frustration remain. As Brian put it, “In our heart of hearts we believe, ‘no, it is dreary me.’”
That pressure to look, act or be a certain way often goes back to childhood. And, as he observed, adulthood doesn’t erase the need to fit in — it just puts a different price tag on it.
Brian’s Keys to Embracing Your Authentic Self
Although it’s not always easy, it is worth the time to think about and work on ways to become the most authentic version of yourself, Brian said. Here are ways he suggests doing that:
Identify your authentic relationships
Who energizes you and who drains you? Real relationships build you up, not tear you down.
Pay attention to your dreams
Goals matter at every age and stage of success. Quoting C.S. Lewis, Brian said, “You’re never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”
Acknowledge your mistakes
Everyone makes them; what matters is what happens next, he noted.
“The person who is absolutely unwilling to recognize and verbalize their mistakes is doomed to repeat them out of insecurity.”
Recognize your defense mechanisms
You may catch yourself always explaining or justifying your actions. Being overly independent can also be a shield against the fear of being let down.
Create a personal mission statement
Take time to define who you are, what you’re about, and what you stand for.
“A personal mission statement becomes the DNA for every other decision we make. When your values are clear, your decisions are easy,” Brian said.
Be your own advocate
It’s important, he said, to stand up for yourself but with grace. Always represent who you are and what you truly believe.
Be true to yourself
Paraphrasing Shakespeare, Brian urged, “Above all else to thine own self be true. Know yourself, own yourself, be yourself.”
“The authentic version of how you’re designed — no matter the mistakes you’ve made, the things you wish you’d done over — is designed to be awesome,” he added.
“There is nothing on earth as powerful as a person made by God who decides to be the person God made. That’s where the power comes from — and what it looks like when we’re at our best, pursuing our authentic self.”
Listen to the full presentation here.
