How to Build Better Habits with Charles Duhigg | Buffini Podcast
It’s easy to set new year’s resolutions; it’s the keeping them that’s hard. And often, that comes down to your habits. Charles Duhigg is an expert on this — in fact he wrote a book on this topic, The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business.
In a recent podcast episode of It’s a Good Life, host Brian Buffini spoke with Charles about the habits that succeed, why resolutions fail, and what real communication looks like. He also gave a preview of his latest bestseller, Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection.
Here are a few highlights from their conversation:
Duhigg points to research from Wharton professor Katy Milkman on the “fresh start effect,” the idea that beginnings give us extra psychological momentum. New years, birthdays, even Mondays can make change feel more possible. But motivation alone isn’t enough.
“The reason why New Year’s resolutions fail,” Duhigg explained, “is because people often set them as far off goals rather than as plans.”
For example, he noted, you may have the desire to lose 20 pounds. That is an abstract goal. A plan, by contrast, defines what happens next. Duhigg emphasizes breaking ambitions into concrete actions, tied to specific moments. Instead of aiming vaguely to “lose weight,” he suggests saying, “Here’s what I’m going to do.”
“So the answer isn’t to say, ‘I judge myself based on whether I can go 30 days without eating carbs.’ The answer is to come up with a system where I say, ‘If I made it through today and I ate pretty healthily, that’s a pretty good accomplishment,’” he explained. “Because the truth of the matter is that one bite of breaded chicken, that doesn’t matter. What matters is whether you have a bite of breaded chicken every time you eat, right?”
Duhigg said it’s also important to note the three components of creating habits that stick — cue, routine, and reward.
An example could be the goal of exercising more. Your cue would be leaving your workout clothes where you see the. The routine is the actual workout itself, even if it was just for five minutes. And the reward could be a piece of cake. Overtime, being aware of that routine helps to not only commit to your goal but to strive to reach it.
“If we come up with cues, routines and rewards and we commit to them, what happens is it becomes perfect over time,” he added. “And that’s when it’s powerful. And the same way that we shouldn’t criticize ourselves for having a bite of breaded chicken, we shouldn’t criticize ourselves for starting a new habit and not being at 100%.”
It’s normal, he said that your best intentions are beset by anxiety and impatience. Remind yourself, he advised, that you came up with the plan in the first place and that you knew it would be slow to start.
“When I think about the mistakes I’ve made in my life, they have always been mistakes of self-limitation…I haven’t believed that I could do something bigger and better than what I thought I could,” he added. “And, and what we know from research is that absolutely any habit you have in your life right now can be changed.
“If you have the right system, you don’t have to worry about the results. They are just natural byproducts. And anyone can do it.”
Listen to the entire podcast here.
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